I hear it at conferences. I see it in sales trainings. Maybe you’ve even said it yourself.
“Every transaction you close is worth $1,000,000.”
The math sounds exciting. Close one deal, earn the repeat business, collect the referrals, add up a lifetime of value. Suddenly every file on your desk looks like a jackpot.
Here’s my honest take. That’s the wrong way to think.
Not because the math is wrong. Because the focus is wrong.
The Million Dollar Mindset Has a Blind Spot
When the transaction is the prize, the person becomes the path to the prize. And people can feel that. They can feel it in how fast you talk. In how quickly you move past their questions. In the way you go quiet once the closing is done.
Think about a garden. If all you care about is the harvest, you’ll keep pulling up the carrots to see if they’re ready. You’ll get impatient. You’ll cut corners. And you’ll end up with less than you would have if you’d just tended the soil.
Transactions are the harvest. Relationships are the soil.
When we chase the harvest, we rush. We overpromise. We stop listening. And ironically, the deal we were so focused on becomes the deal most likely to fall apart.
Here’s a Better Way to Think About It
“Every relationship you invest in is a gateway to more and better relationships.”
Read that one more time. Slowly.
Gateway. Not a payout. A door that opens to the next room.
More and better. Not just more. Better. When you serve people well, you attract people who value being served well. A client who trusts you sends you a friend who’s ready to trust you. An agent who respects how you work introduces you to other agents who work the same way.
That’s how quality compounds. One great relationship doesn’t just pay once. It raises the caliber of everyone who comes through the door after it.
People Don’t Care How Much You Know…
There’s an old saying, often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt and made popular by leadership author John C. Maxwell:
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
After 26 years in this business, I can tell you that line is true every single day. I’ve watched brilliant loan officers lose clients because they led with rates and guidelines. And I’ve watched good, steady professionals build careers that last decades, simply because their clients always knew someone was in their corner.
Our business runs on four things:
- Trust. They believe you’ll do what you say.
- Respect. You value their time, their money, and their goals.
- Loyalty. You show up after closing, not just before it.
- Understanding. You know their needs, and you know their fears.
That last one matters more than most of us admit. A buyer is quietly asking: Will I get denied? Can I really afford this? Am I making a huge mistake? An agent is quietly asking: Will this lender close on time? Will they keep me in the loop? Will my client come back and blame me if something goes wrong?
When you answer the fear, not just the question, people relax. And relaxed people make better decisions.
A Great Lender Does More Than Approve Loans
This is why I believe a great lender has to do more than approve loans. We have to protect the transaction, and we have to help protect the relationships you’ve worked so hard to build.
Realtors, think about what’s really on the line when you refer a client to a lender. It isn’t just a commission check. It’s your name. Your reputation. Every past client who might hear about how this one went. When a loan goes sideways, your relationship takes the hit too.
So here’s what protecting the relationship looks like in real life:
- Communication before you have to ask. You should never have to chase your lender for a status update.
- Solving problems before they become emergencies. That’s the heart of The Deal Doctor approach. Diagnose early. Treat early. Save the deal.
- Honest expectations. No surprises at the closing table. Clarity beats pressure every time.
- Respecting that your client is your client. I’m there to serve them and support you, not to take over the relationship you built.
What This Means If You’re Buying a Home
If you’re a homebuyer reading this, here’s the takeaway for you. You deserve a lender who explains the why, not just the what. Someone who answers the questions you’re nervous to ask. Someone who’s still picking up the phone a year after closing when you want to talk about a refinance or a second home.
You’re not a file number. You’re the start of a relationship. Choose a team that treats you that way.
Your Practical Takeaway This Week
Ideas only matter when we act on them. So here are three simple things to try this week:
- Call one past client with zero agenda. No pitch. Just ask how the house is treating them.
- Ask one partner what their biggest fear is on a deal. Then listen. You’ll learn more in five minutes than in a week of trainings.
- Follow up 30 days after your next closing. That’s when most people disappear. Be the one who doesn’t.
Transactions end. Relationships don’t have to.
Markets will change. Rates will change. Technology will keep changing. People won’t. They’ll always remember how you made them feel when the stakes were high.
Trust is still the greatest competitive advantage. So go invest in it.
Realtors: if you want a lender who protects your deals and your reputation, let’s talk. Call or text me at (931) 980-9764 or email Kate@VanDykMortgage.com. Homebuyers: you can get started anytime at my secure application page.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What’s wrong with saying every closing is worth $1,000,000?
The math isn’t the problem. The focus is. It trains you to see people as dollar signs, and clients and partners can feel that. When you focus on the relationship instead, the business tends to follow.
2. What does “a gateway to more and better relationships” mean?
Every relationship you serve well opens doors to new ones. And because like attracts like, those new relationships tend to be higher quality: people who value trust, communication, and service.
3. Who said “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”?
The quote is often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, though its exact origin is debated. Leadership author John C. Maxwell helped make it widely known.
4. How does a lender protect a Realtor’s relationships?
By communicating proactively, catching problems early, setting honest expectations, and closing on time. A smooth loan experience reflects well on the agent who made the referral.
5. What are the most common fears homebuyers have?
Being denied, not being able to afford the payment, hidden costs at closing, and making a decision they’ll regret. A good lender addresses those fears directly instead of avoiding them.
6. What do Realtors worry about most when choosing a lender?
Closing on time, staying in the loop, and protecting their client relationship. If a loan falls apart, the agent’s reputation often takes the hit.
7. What is The Deal Doctor approach?
It’s about diagnosing problems early and finding solutions that save deals, especially complex files, credit challenges, self-employed borrowers, and transactions other lenders have struggled with.
8. How can I build stronger relationships with past clients?
Stay in touch without an agenda. Check in after closing, remember milestones, and be a resource when they have questions. Consistency beats intensity.
9. Why should homebuyers care about their lender’s relationship with their agent?
When your agent and lender trust each other and communicate well, problems get solved faster and your closing is far more likely to stay on track.
10. How do I get started working with Kate?
Call or text (931) 980-9764, email Kate@VanDykMortgage.com, or start your application at katedeiboldt.vandyk-pos.com.
Source: This post is an original reflection by Kate Deiboldt. The quote “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” is commonly attributed to Theodore Roosevelt and popularized by John C. Maxwell.
Kate Deiboldt, Senior Mortgage Advisor, VanDyk Mortgage Corporation. NMLS #18487. Company NMLS #3035. Kate@VanDykMortgage.com | (931) 980-9764. Licensed in TN, KY, AL, FL, GA, TX and IL. Verify licensing at www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org. Equal Housing Lender. This is not a commitment to lend. All loans are subject to credit approval, underwriting guidelines and property eligibility. Programs, rates, terms and conditions are subject to change without notice. Information is for educational purposes only.
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